Never as tired as when I'm waking up

So I was doing my usual thing where I waste time by pottering around on the internet and finding funny/odd/interesting things and I cam across this video: http://fiftypeopleonequestion.com/locations/3-brooklyn-ny. It basically involves some film crew asking 50 people the same question. In this instance, the question was, "Where do you wish to wake up tomorrow?"

Most people gave the responses you'd expect, like "In my own bed", "Back home with my family", and "In bed with him/her." However, one lady, around the 2 minute mark (right after Philip Seymour Hoffman responds, "Outer space"), said the following:

"I would love to wake up in a world, like, where every closet opens in to, like, someone else's closet and then you come out of the closet and you're in a totally different place and you meet that person and get to have breakfast with them. I don't know if it's possible but that's where I'd like to wake up."

Now getting past her obvious deep-seeded sexual conflict (she wishes to wake up in a place where she can "come out of the closet" to a stranger who would accept her into their house and eat breakfast with her... I only did Introduction to Psychology but I'm pretty sure I know what this chick is trying to say... she is practically screaming it) I have some real issues with her imaginary world.

Firstly, how does she propose the world would function in this fantasy closet transport world? Assuming you had a choice as to whether you were warped across space by your closet, and not just sucked into your wardrobe when you went to grab your outfit for the day even if you didn't want to take a magical mystery tour, what happens once you've arrived? Sure, you have some breakfast, but what then? Is the closet transportation system a return-trip setup? Can you easily retrace your steps? Or do you have to just keep warping about until you arrive somewhere you recognise? And what happens if you arrive in someone's house who doesn't speak the same language as you? How do you explain who you are, what you want for breakfast, or even engage in simple meal-eating banter?

Secondly, the whole breakfast thing. Now it'd be nice to assume that if you just randomly showed up in someone's bedroom (I'm guessing that is where most people keep their closet) they'd welcome you with open arms and invite you to breakfast and want to hear your abridged life story over some crumpets. But that simply isn't the case. What if you're having a stressful morning, like you spilled coffee on your only ironed shirt and the toaster just died? The last thing you want is some person showing up unannounced for breakfast, especially if you don't know them very well, or at all. What if you had to be at work early and you've already left the house, and some person who had a bit of a sleep in thought, "I know what I'll do today, transport myself into someone else's house and have breakfast with them" and they arrived but you weren't home? Would you be okay with a complete stranger helping themselves to your Special K? What if you were engaging in some early morning hanky-panky and someone barged in demanding pancakes?

Then you have the matter of crime. Once again, it'd be nice to assume that the closet teleporter would only be used for good, but the reality of the world is that there are some real losers out there who just like to do bad things. Do we really want to provide a way for would-be thieves, murders or *gasp* rapists to gain entry directly into people's houses? I imagine you could run a fairly successful burglary ring with just the help of a few closets. What about illegal immigration, or terrorism? I can't see having a border control outpost in every single person's bedroom being a particularly easy thing to manage.

There are a number of other issue to consider, like time zones (just because it's time for breakfast in Brooklyn doesn't mean it is in Johannesburg) or what happens to the clothes in your closet (how do you stop them from transporting with you, or worse, transporting by themselves) but I think it's safe to say that this woman's idea of Star Trek closets is pretty impractical.

The lesson to learn from this is: don't say stupid stuff when you're being filmed, because it'll end up on the internet.

Oh, and no one wants to have breakfast with a lesbian.