So the title should probably be Internet Heroes, as technically there are two people in the glorious series of videos I accidentally found on the weekend. I was looking for footage of the comedy duo 'The Pajama Men' who had a show on Saturday night at the Powerhouse. Sensibly, I punched this into YouTube and figured I'd find at least a videophone recording of one of their gigs.
Either they have a really good legal team or no one records their shows because they're shit and having to relive the memory of seeing it is physically painful, because there is not a single video on YouTube of their show. However, what I did find, was just as good, if not better.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet...
ThePajamaMen
Yes, they're wearing onesies. And yes, they're matching onesies. Zach and Dakota (poor kid, he's either named after this adorable spawn of Satan, a place where the state beverage is milk, or a 1945 Western staring John Wayne) are "dancers boi!" who enjoy nothing more than "dancing boi!". What they lack in variety, they make up for in enthusiasm.
Despite the fact they only have three videos uploaded, they already have their own website. Good thinking boys. When that fame train comes, and by golly it will, you'll be ready to jump on board and start handing out tickets.
There isn't much on the website besides links to their videos. I was the 9th and 10th visitor. Assuming they were on there at least once to set it all up, there are seven other people out there who have seen the future of entertainment. And let me tell you, it's hopped-the-fuck-up on sugar.
To illustrate, here is the majority of the text on their website:
Hello, welcome to our website of The Pajama Men's official website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Soon we will be adding photos, stuff in the store, and more videos!
We get it kids, this is a website. The fact we're on the internet was a bit of a give-away. Oh, and you'll notice they love exclamation points.
Now to the actual dancing. Well, it's not really dancing, it's more convulsing with purpose. Zach and Dakota kick and flail their way around what I can only assume is a bedroom. I don't know whose bedroom it is. In fact, I don't even know if Zach and Dakota are related. Their matching onesies and similar facial features seems to imply as such, however they could easily be best friends. Or lovers.
I was going to investigate these two enigma's further (Zach has two other YouTube profiles.. Two!) but I feared that might be a rabbit hole from which I would never emerge. Instead, I'll just let you watch the magic unfold for yourself.
This is The Pajama Men dancing to 'Poker Face' by Lady Gaga.
I spend a fair bit of time on this internet game. Some might say I spend too much time. I tell those people to shut up.
Occasionally I stumble across things that , in spite of all the ridiculous stuff I have seen and done, rock me to my very core. These are the hidden gems of the web, the monsters that Web 2.0 has created.
Any weirdo with a webcam and an internet connection can now proudly broadcast their insanity. There are those who say I should take pity on these nutbags, that they don't know what they're doing. I politely disagree.
These people are my heroes. They do the things I can or will not do, whether through my own physical or mental limitations, or simply because I was not quick enough to capitalise on whatever brilliant idea they are gloriously riding through their 15 minutes of fame.
Tonight I offer to you my first hero of the internet...
ToshBabyBoo
"Who is this beautiful creature?" you ask? According to her YouTube profile, she's a 27-year-old (my, what a youthful figure she has) American woman who loves her "Online Boyfriend And All Of My Friends In The Whole Wide World Thanx For Being The Greatest Online Boyfriend And Friends In The Whole Wide World To Me." Got that?
Tosh enjoys her dog Bo (cutie!), pimping out her hair (she's got a top ponytail and a wicked single braid) and singing. Not just any singing mind you, she mumbles along to R'n'B which I can only assume is pumping through her headphones. However, like the pop-stars of old, Tosh cleverly provides no backing track for herself, so each video is a 6-minute operetta of the chubbiest proportions. Oh, and something called 'Stickam'.
To illustrate, Tosh flawlessly covers 'Ms. New Booty' by Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins and Mr. Collipark.
Notice how even though she introduces the song as "Ms. New Booty" she insists on singing "Ms. Moogoo" throughout the entirety of the clip. Clever girl.
Tired of talking to himself, Tom has decided to bring his own special kind of insanity to the internet.
He has written a musical, completed drafts of various lengths of a number of different novels, performed, hosted improvised theatre, and tries his hand at stand-up comedy.
