Today was going to be another 'Literal Lyrics' post. However, in my quest for a current single that has terrible lyrics (usually not a difficult search) I discovered this:
(Bigger version here.)
That's right. Number 46 on the ARIA Top 50 singles chart is 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)' as sung by The Chipettes. Who are 'The Chipettes' you ask? To quote Wikipedia, "The Chipettes are a fictional group of anthropomorphic chipmunk singers first appearing on the cartoon series Alvin and the Chipmunks in 1983." How are they in the charts in 2010 then?
Well, thanks to the eternal crap machine that is Hollywood, the old Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon was revived in 2007 as a live action/CGI, and despite being critically panned, it made almost 10 times it's budget at the box office and in DVD sales. Turns out, not only do humans have an awful taste in music, we're also not that great with movies either. The inevitable sequel, referred to as the "squeakquel" (see what they did there?) was released in December last year, and re-introduced The Chipettes to the world.
Not content with raping our eyes via cinema screens, the good people at Warner Music found it in their hearts to violate our ears as well, and released a soundtrack, containing 15 (18 if you got the Deluxe iTunes Edition, woo bonus tracks!) songs, performed exclusively by either The Chipmunks, The Chipettes, or both.
Before you get excited and say, "They trained actual chipmunks to sing? That's incredible! I love avant garde music, where can I buy this album?" I must clarify what they mean by songs. Basically what the brilliant minds at 20th Century Fox did is take the original songs and turn up the pitch, so the singers sounded like screeching banshees from the depths of hell. There is no parody, no lyric alteration. It's the same songs that were originally released, just make to sound like a eunuch on helium.
Now normally this wouldn't bother me, and for the most part, it still doesn't. They used songs by Pink and the Black Eyed Peas, so it wasn't like they were ruining anything good. Right? Wrong!
Beyonce's late 2008 hit 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)' was one of the butchered songs. A track that was ranked as the number two Best Song of the Decade in Rolling Stone magazine's Reader's Poll. The song also appeared at number 50 on the magazine's critics' list of the 100 Best Songs of the Decade. Now you may not know, but I love this song. There is a video, kept in a highly protected vault, of me drunkenly dancing to it. It is impossible not to love it. Not only is it a great song, but Beyonce is a chocolate goddess. And the dancing! Amazing! All done in a single take. In intense heels. Wow. It's still in the Aria Top 50 Singles chart for fucks sake. It's been there for 40 weeks!
Anyway, enough of me ranting about how much I love the song. Check this out. I hope it makes you cry.